He Has Already Won

Here is another throwback hymn for you! A hymn that has been used often in the past year at my church is “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” by Martin Luther. The words are a powerful force against spiritual warfare and times of trouble. It was not until I sang this song on my worship team that I looked more closely at each word, as it has been so long since I had heard or even thought of this hymn. It has proved to be helpful in times of need.  Have you ever been plagued by thoughts at night?  Almost every night before I sing on the worship team at my church, I can’t sleep. What happens is inconsistent.  Sometimes I will be jolted awake every half hour throughout the night. As I try to fall back asleep, I will ruminate over why I need to be sleeping to be […]

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Church Hurt is the Worst Hurt – Pt. 1

The words plunged into me like a dagger: “Jessica, In this case, you were wrong. You were manipulative. You inserted yourself to be part of a group where truth is, not everyone would welcome you. I ask that you make arrangements at a different hotel.” My church was going to a highly anticipated conference, and my former church, halfway across the country, wanted to attend but had missed out on early sign-up benefits. During a 5-day visit with my friend, she expressed disappointment about the missed opportunities. I extended my church’s resources (with their permission), which she graciously accepted… and then the above message popped into my inbox, written by her husband (and my former pastor). He heard through the grapevine – not his wife, and assumptions were made about my intentions and the reach of his authority. OUR CHURCH HURT When people tell me they are apprehensive about the […]

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A Love Letter to the Temple of God

A few weeks ago, I vandalized Gods’ temple.  I wrote hate speech on its walls. I tore down the beautiful altars; altars that memorialized obstacles that lead to grace. I snuffed out all of the candles; candles that were lit with trembling faith and hopeful expectation. I stood in the middle of the temple and yelled out in defiance at all the prayers that had been spoken in and over that place.  Weary of rage, ashamed, and scared; I knew I wasn’t alone. A distant, gentle voice reminded me, “Don’t you realize that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So, you must honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20, NLT). MAKING MY BODY A TEMPLE The many times I had read […]

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Laying Down My Life (Do I have to?!)

“Lord, I lay down my life for you.” “Really? Will you lay your life down for me?” Jesus asks Peter in John 13:38 (NLT).  Will I lay my desires for my career, my free time, my ambitions, my relationships, my reputation for Our Father? Well, I don’t know. I’m willing to lay down maybe one of those, maybe I’ll give one night a week to serve a person or a community. Maybe I’ll begrudgingly accept that the reason I didn’t get those jobs over the years: God didn’t want me to have it.  See, Lord, I’m sacrificing my will!  So I thought. I thought this could the extent of the sacrifice. Except that once we pray the prayer, we have asked God to do more than what we may realize. When fear debilitates us or anxiety overcomes us, and we question God’s will for our lives. For me, it’s at […]

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Isn’t it exciting to see what God is going to do?

The start of the new year always brings an onslaught of emotion and reflection for me. My birthday falls on December 30th, so as the world turns another year older, I do as well. To be frank, as of late this event has failed to yield an overwhelming amount of contentment and gratitude in my heart. Instead, the combination of the new year and my birthday feels as though I am being given a double-dosage of “these are all of the things you thought would have happened by now but haven’t.” THE PLACE I FIND MYSELF I just turned 26. If you went back and asked younger Claire, by the age of 26 I would be married or at least in a serious relationship. I would have lived in a major city, out of state, or even out of the country. I might have started a company or at least […]

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Help (Un)Wanted

I’m not good at accepting help.   There.  I said it.  I say that like you twisted my arm to admit it, but honestly, who is?   Our culture thrives on that “pick yourself up by the bootstraps,” “stand on your own two feet” mentality.  By accepting help, we feel like we are admitting defeat. We just can’t do it. We’re just not good enough.  We’ve failed. And in that vein, asking for help requires a vulnerability we are loath to live out.  We have to show others our messiness.  We can’t hide behind the picture-perfect Instagram life we share online because when we allow someone in, they see the behind-the-scenes.  They see the imperfection. They see the real. Or maybe you, like me, don’t want to burden others with your burdens.  You don’t want to put anyone out by asking for help. You don’t want to add to anyone else’s load […]

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Newness and the Never-changing

The Frozen II soundtrack has been on repeat in my home over the past few weeks. On it, there are two songs that stand in contrast to one another. The first is “Some Things Never Change,” which is about the desire for some things in life to remain constant and true. But Elsa’s song, “Into the Unknown,” is a song about stepping out of the ordinary and into something new. It’s a song that foreshadows the changes that are coming for Anna, Elsa, and friends.  While the songs and feelings seem in contrast, they both remind me of the longings we all tend to have, particularly around the New Year. The New Year brings with it the longing for change – that somehow this year will be better than last, that things will be different, that maybe this year we’ll finally be able to stick to our goals and become […]

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“This Guy Gets It”

This guy was worshipping Jesus more fearfully and fearlessly than anyone I had ever seen in my entire life. He was praising Jesus like no one else was in the room. Or, better yet, like Jesus was actually in the room. Like a complete madman. No joke, it was as if he was just set free from prison and ran straight to the service. He was clapping, dancing, shouting, hands lifted and at times crying with his face to the ground. I turned to my husband and he nodded in agreement, “This guy gets it.”  But church, do we?  Do I? I looked around the room, to the 1,000 men and women, and saw perhaps a different type of fear than this worshipping man. I saw a fear of man. A fear that was more concerned with how we looked to our neighbors than to God. A fear more consumed […]

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Make Disciples of All Nations

If someone asked me what my passions are, discipleship would be one of my top passions. Discipleship is teaching someone to follow Jesus. It is doing life with a person (they seeing your routine interactions with others and how you live your life) and walking alongside them in their relationship with Christ. Discipleship has no age requirements or limits on spiritual maturity. Discipleship is important to me because Jesus commanded it. “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them…. and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” Matthew 28:16-20 NIV. Jesus did not say, “go and make converts of all nations, He said “go and make disciples.” I was in my mid 20’s when a lady from my church asked if I wanted to be discipled by her. We had been co-leading a college girls’ bible study together.  I was thrilled that she asked me as I […]

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O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

I used to think that this hymn was a just a children’s song and often referred to it as the “rainbow hymn” because the only word I could remember from it was “rainbow.” Recently, I came across the story behind this hymn, different versions of the melody, and upon taking a closer look at the lyrics, I realized how deeply beautiful the words to be.  George Matheson wrote this hymn in 1882. During schooling to become a minister, he started to become blind. When he told his fiance of his diagnosis, she left him. In order to make it through school, his sister learned several languages and helped write his papers. Eventually she would be the one to help him write his Sunday sermons to over 1500 church members. They were a team, but their work together would come to an end with his sister leaving him to be married. […]

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