When I first became a Christian in 2010, I spent a lot of time pursuing Jesus. Not only did I spend my time in the Word trying to get to know this God who had radically changed my life, but I constantly prayed (in the car, while brushing my teeth, walking from point A to B, whenever I could). I didn’t just want to deeply know God, but I wanted Him to deeply know me. At the end of each day, I would sit down and reflect, journal, pray, and just be with my Rescuer. I lived my life, but my number one priority always belonged to Jesus. I was swept up in Him. He was everything to me. As time went on, my time spent with God changed. After college, life quickly became complicated, chaotic, and busy. Days fluttered by, and before I knew it, my intentionality with God dwindled. […]
Why God Requires Our Vulnerability
Anyone who knows me knows that I am always armed with a Brene Brown quote. While she is accepted by a wider secular audience, in many ways her research on shame and vulnerability has many inextricable links to how God created us. Our brains are wired by emotion and the capacity to make connections with others. He asks us to see every person with compassion because He sees us this way (Exodus 34:6). In high school, I went to this megachurch in Fort Worth. One day the pastor was preaching on Matthew 9:36-37: When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” He tied these verses to this main message: “Lord, help me to see what You see and feel what You feel […]
Life Eternal
Just a few weeks ago my pastor, Will Davis, at Austin Christian Fellowship, said something that ignited a desire in me to do an independent study on the word life. A word study is taking a keyword and researching it with a Bible concordance, a book much like a dictionary that defines every single word in the Bible. I use the NIV Exhaustive Bible Concordance by John R. Kohlenberger III which not only defines but gives the Arabic, Hebrew, and Greek translation. Studying biblical words with a concordance enhances our understanding of Scripture and brings to life familiar stories and verses. The thought-provoking phrase my pastor said that sent me on a word quest was, “We all exist but not all of us have life.” This statement caused me to seriously consider the question, “Am I truly living in the life-giving power of Jesus?” The Bible uses the word life […]
Praying with His Name
I have been thinking about names lately. Working at one of the largest public universities in the country, I have learned a lot of names since starting my job. In any given week, there are likely to be 400-500 students whose name I am paid to know walking through the halls of the building I work in. One of my favorite parts of my day is walking around, passing students in the hall, and saying hello- calling them by name; asking how they are. I do it primarily because I know how striking it is to me when I hear someone say my name. “Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” ― Dale Carnegie, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” I read this book when I was a sophomore in college. A “classic” in the business world. The title always felt a little off-putting to […]
Get Wisdom
In every season of life, I’ve wanted God to give me clear direction and a clear answer. What should I major in? Should I marry this guy? What should I do with my life? Do I let my baby cry-it-out or would that permanently damage her for the rest of her life? What kind of schooling should I have my kids in? Life is full of tough decisions that the Bible just doesn’t always directly answer. As much as I sometimes wish He would, God doesn’t operate like a magic 8 ball. While God doesn’t always give us the direct answer we want to all of life’s questions, He does give us the wisdom to navigate through life. But how do we get it? If you’re familiar with the Bible, you might know that Proverbs 1:7 says that the fear of God – trusting His voice instead of your own […]
An Ocean of Sorrows
It was Sunday morning and much to my surprise I was not only on time for service, but I was early. I fumbled through the parking lot juggling my keys, water bottle, tumbler filled with hazelnut coffee, inhaling the last half of a cinnamon raisin bagel, and made my way to the front of the sanctuary. I remember sitting there eagerly anticipating worship. When our singer came on stage, these words poured out of her mouth and into my heart and time seemed to slow: It feels like an ocean of sorrow is under my skin. The song is called “You Hold It All Together” by All Sons & Daughters and when I heard it for the first time that morning it took away all the busyness I had built into my life to distract me and slowed my heart and mind in a way that acknowledged the sorrow in […]
You Can’t Do It Alone
Every summer, I find myself marking time. It’s the time all my regular activities take a recess for some R&R. I’m a creature of habit and routine, and while it’s nice to have the freedom and fluidity in my schedule for a while, I find myself genuinely longing to go back to that structure. I crave regularly meeting with my community. I would consider myself a better than average person at self-discipline. I get up early and have a quiet time with the Lord and actively attempt to seek Him. I regulate my calorie, caffeine, and alcohol intake. I work out regularly. I complete my task lists and try not to have too much screen time for myself or my kids. But my will is not strong enough to do this long-term. Pretty soon this structure and routine becomes habit. It’s a box to check off. It’s a gold star […]
Why is God So Patient With Us?
One minute we’re thankful, the next minute we’re complaining. One minute we’re kind to others, the next minute we hurry past someone in need. One minute we surrender all to God, the next minute we’re seeking control of our lives. My salvation is an absolute testimony of this. I spent the first 19-years of my life seeking pleasure in anything and everything but God. You read that right. Nineteen years. I can testify that God was insanely patient with me, enduring my recklessness for redemption. Why is God so patient with us? For those of us in Christ, God doesn’t show us patience based on our behavior – patience is who He is. He said so Himself: “I am the Lord God. I am merciful and very patient with my people,” (Exodus 34:6). By offering us His patience, He offers us Himself. We don’t “deserve” patience and we sure can’t […]
Idol of Beauty
“He’s not attractive enough for me to want to date him.” “I hope my kids will be cute.” “Her face isn’t very pretty.” “I don’t feel like watching that show/movie because the actors are not appealing to me.“ “I want guys to think I am pretty.” I am baring my sin once again. And once again, how embarrassing it is. These are true thoughts I am ashamed to admit have run through my head. I realized not too long ago, I have an idol of beauty. Too often than not, many decisions I make and the actions I take are based on my perceptions of beauty especially in regards to matchmaking, progeny and how the opposite gender views me. I want a cute husband, cute kids, and to be cute myself! I believe as a culture, we value beauty too much. When it comes down to it, some of us […]
The Misguided Pursuit of the Perfectionist
“Good enough is never good enough unless it’s the best it can be.” My English teacher told us this in 7th grade. I didn’t know it at the time, but my teacher had given me the words that defined how I had lived to that point and would live my life going forward. From the time I was little, I have been a rule follower, a do-gooder, and (some might say) a goody-two-shoes. I can count on one hand the number of times my parents grounded me because 1) they were very few and far between and 2) I punished myself way harder than they ever could, so I definitely remember. I excelled at and achieved most things I did because, well, that’s what good girls do, right? Rules are there for a reason. And if something has to be done, it’s worth doing well. “Good enough is never good […]