Identity Archives | All The More: Collective Blog

Immovable Identity

July 22, 2022 Rachel Guerrero 4 min read

“Am I good enough? Am I deserving of love today?” These are the types of questions that run through my mindas I seek my husband’s approval. Just recently, my husband, Josh, told friends of some marriage advice he received prior to our wedding. The advice was basically if there is a problem in your marriage, 99 percent of the time, it comes down to the man’s issue. Now, I’m gonna be honest, as a woman, this sounds great. No problems are really mine? If he was better, everything would be better? Sign me up. Of course, what the advice really meant was, please lead your family, outdo her in love, be an example in love and sacrifice. Of course, I know I sin and mess up very often and that these problems of mine in attitude and actions can affect my marriage in many negative ways, just like my spouse’s. […]

I can’t wait to be pretty

July 15, 2022 Claire Raabe 4 min read

“I can’t wait to be pretty Oh the things that I’ll do I’ll kiss pretty people and live out the blue I’ll dance with the lights on in a crowded room When I’m pretty, oh the things I’ll do.” These lyrics struck me as I drove one morning listening to my Discover Weekly playlist on Spotify. A quick perusal of the comments on the official YouTube demo tell me these words resonate with people, particularly women, in a powerful, heartbreaking way: “Literally every single lyric is how I feel.” “Tons of people tell me I’m pretty and it feels nice, but at the end of the day when I look in the mirror it pains me to look at myself.” “I’ve felt like this for years, afraid to live my life because I’ve never felt pretty.” The past few weeks, I have found myself going through a podcast series produced […]

Body Image and the Gospel

August 13, 2021 Mina Davenport 5 min read

You’ll never be thin enough. She’s definitely prettier than you. Is that the best outfit you could put together? For many years, sentiments like these were my natural reaction to seeing myself in a mirror. I have wrestled with my body image on and off since adolescence. Prior to following Jesus, I cared so much about my appearance I willingly nurtured harmful habits to become “beautiful”. I was bulimic, worked out too much, ate too little, followed trendy diets, spent countless hours on beauty tutorials, wore lots of gaudy makeup, and even went so far as to steal when I wanted the coolest clothing brands I couldn’t afford. When I began following Jesus in my late teen years, I assumed my body image struggles would disappear. After all, a Christian knows that God doesn’t care about outward appearances, so I shouldn’t care about them either, right? Wrong. I continued to […]

For those without fathers or with insufficient fathers

June 18, 2021 Bailey Lenzen 5 min read

Since last fall, I have seen a counselor to deal with some lingering guilt about my mother’s death I still carry with me. In the first session, I let her know I grew up as an only child of a single parent, and no, we did not need to deal with my “daddy issues,” as I have done all the reflecting and processing about that throughout my adolescent years. I’m in a good place about it – I’ve forgiven him, I don’t think about him at all, and I have no issues with seeing God as Father. I’m good with where I’m at with this part of my identity, and I feel made new in Christ. Fast forward six months to a session where I share with her that I think our work in terms of my grief is complete, insofar as it can be in my current life stage. […]

When am I ever going to be good enough?

April 9, 2021 Claire Raabe 5 min read

A few weeks back I found a new song on my Spotify Discover Weekly while jogging around the park. The music was peppy enough at first and the lyrics straightforward and catchy. However, when the chorus came, I found myself a bit haunted by its repeated questions: When am I ever gonna be good enough, for anyone? When am I ever gonna be good enough, for anything? They’re all ten thousand steps ahead of me Everything I’ll never be When am I ever gonna be good enough? I am a pretty driven person. I have always been motivated to pursue the highest and best. For most of my life this has manifested itself in school and sports. Now as a young adult, I see this in my professional aspirations, personal drive to always be learning and growing, and internalized pressure to keep up with my peers in terms of life […]

Owners of nothing, stewards of everything

September 11, 2020 Rachel Marissa 3 min read

A while back, my mom let me borrow her purple water bottle. I used it so much I started to forget it was hers to begin with. Sometimes I fail to remember that the “purple water bottles” God lets me borrow are His, too. During my first year in the counseling program at my seminary, I was so very aware grad school was a gift from God. I knew He was loaning me the knowledge, time, and resources. I was believing and remembering He is all-wise and knows everything about counseling, my program, where He’s calling me. I found myself holding loosely to grad school. I wasn’t anxious about going to class, studying for exams, writing research papers, applying for internships, or telling people I had no idea where I’d be after graduation. As I entered my second year of the program, however, a strange thing happened. I became clingy, […]

The Misguided Pursuit of the Perfectionist

August 23, 2019 Kathryn Pesyna 3 min read

“Good enough is never good enough unless it’s the best it can be.” My English teacher told us this in 7th grade. I didn’t know it at the time, but my teacher had given me the words that defined how I had lived to that point and would live my life going forward. From the time I was little, I have been a rule follower, a do-gooder, and (some might say) a goody-two-shoes. I can count on one hand the number of times my parents grounded me because 1) they were very few and far between and 2) I punished myself way harder than they ever could, so I definitely remember. I excelled at and achieved most things I did because, well, that’s what good girls do, right? Rules are there for a reason. And if something has to be done, it’s worth doing well. “Good enough is never good […]

(En)Titled, We Trust

July 20, 2018 Kelli Chase 3 min read

“I deserve a pay raise.” “I’m tired of being single, I have sought God and purity, so why hasn’t He brought a spouse in my life?” “This isn’t fair that they are in front of me; I was in line first.”

Dance Like Only God is Watching

April 27, 2018 Rachel Marissa 3 min read

As much as I hate to admit it, I care what people think about me. I do. I’ve lived my whole life up to this point trying to be cool by saying I don’t care. But it’s time be honest with myself; I do. I care what you, a complete and total stranger reading this blog, is thinking about me while reading this.

Stop fighting for your seat.

March 23, 2018 Kelli Chase 3 min read

Why was it that finding a seat in the lunchroom was one of those monumental moments, not only in books or hollywood, but also in reality?

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