Peace in non-peaceful times

bible reading

As I scroll through social media or overhear conversations between people, I’m overwhelmed with the heaviness people are carrying in 2020. People are anxious, burnt out, exhausted, worried for sick loved ones, uncertain about the future, confused—our world is marked by a lack of peace. If I honestly examine my own thought life during this chaotic year, much of it has been characterized by a lack of peace, too. Wanting to grasp God’s peace during these uncertain times, I recently began searching the scriptures. I came across one of the names of Jesus, as prophesied in Isaiah 9:6, that struck me:  “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (ESV) Prince of Peace, or in the original Hebrew, ‘sar shalom‘.  It sounds […]

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Community: Bound Together in Love

silhouette of two person sitting on chair near tree

In the Spring of 2010, I walked into a small room in San Jacinto Hall, a dorm at Texas State University. The room felt vibrant and alive, with lots of smiles, laughs, hugs, and conversation. The room was diverse, from skin color to clothing style, but everyone loved deeply; you could just feel it. I was invited by my new friend, Ellen Porter, to a campus night for a student ministry at Texas State. I knew only one person, but everyone introduced themselves to me and made me feel cared for. This was the start of feeling like a part of a community, a family even, that I didn’t even know I needed at the time. When Jesus truly changed my heart and I became a follower of Jesus a month later, it was this same community that helped me walk faithfully, encouraging me, and challenging me weekly to follow […]

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The Paradox of Powerlessness

flowers rocks

This year has been a season of longing – longing for normalcy and longing for a return of routines, activities, and hangouts. Some of these longings are simple and easy to persevere through – longing to stand in a crowd at your favorite band’s concert, longing to go to the grocery store without being armed with Clorox wipes, or longing for the start of the college football season. Others are rooted in more sensitive and desperate parts of our hearts – longing to be surrounded by a life-giving community, longing for employment that feels meaningful and worthwhile, longing for a new relationship or healing in a current one.  In many ways, our whole lives are a series of thirsts that culminate in the ultimate thirst for Christ. The reality is, this thirst is unlikely to be fully quenched this side of heaven. With that in mind, how can we carry […]

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Homes To Worship In

family

I was born in 1990. This means a lot of things: I have The Sandlot and The Princess Bride memorized. I had crushes on Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Sully from Dr. Quinn. I side-stepped most of the boy-band craze by being born into a country music household, but I could sing you Garth Brooks’ whole discography. It also means I use a night cream now. What this meant for my upbringing in the church, though, was I came of age while the church in America was wrestling with “contemporary worship music.” This term has survived for my entire life and can still be found on most church websites when describing their service.  Musical worship and service style has probably been a controversial topic since the Reformation, so I don’t want to overplay the rise of Tommy Walker. However, it seems to have been a part of a wider debate in […]

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Feeling Overwhelmed Leads to Reliance

Overwhelmed. We’ve all felt it. Whether it be with school, work, kids, chores, or feelings! I know I use overwhelmed to describe how I feel quite often, especially being quarantined with a two-year-old and ten-month-old while trying to support my husband with a new church plant and find any time to.. paint my nails? I wouldn’t know what to do with time by myself! Although “I feel overwhelmed” can be a common phrase, what does it really mean?  One definition is “to overcome completely in mind or feeling.” Overwhelm can also be interchangeable with anxiety or worry. Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or worried is not a sin, but our reactions to our feelings can be sinful.  I know when I feel overwhelmed, I just want to sit down, shut everything off, and cry. Anyone else? Or maybe you’re more prone to anger. When too much is going on, you feel the […]

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Safety: An Unexpected Idol

Narnia

Safety has been on my mind lately – perhaps yours as well. At every turn, safety becomes one of the first criteria I use to make a decision. Should I go into this store? Should I spend time with this person? Should I go home and visit my family? Should I stop to get gas here or wait until I am closer to home? Should I lick this envelope to close it or use water? Should I shake hands with this person I am meeting the first time? Ridiculous as it sounds, these are real dialogues taking place in my brain lately. Decisions that were once completely subconscious in nature have become loaded ethical choices.  It is exhausting to have to look at everything, and most everyone, as a threat to my safety. But, as my brain shrewdly counters, it is prudent. It is wise to be careful. I need […]

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Be Still, My Soul, in this Pandemic

“Be still my soul”…easier said than done in this present time.  Worrying has been a daily presence in my mind–the health of my loved ones, the jobs of my family and friends, my own job, my students, the future in general, being completely isolated if I get the virus. How am I supposed to keep everyone safe from something I cannot see? My soul has not been still. I have been battling for a still soul. And yet, I have had a hymn on repeat in my mind this week, reminding me over and over again: be still my soul, the Lord is on my side. The stronghold I can have on the feeling of control in my life and the lives of those around me cannot be gripped when things fall apart. The words of this hymn are a reminder that when the things in this life seem completely […]

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Jesus is not surprised by our weakness

“Without me, you can do nothing.” John 15:5 This simple line of scripture has felt relevant over, and over, and over again since March 16th.  Lacking Control – COVID-19 Edition Like most of you, my life has been put on hold, turned sideways, and restarted again on a much slower setting in the three weeks since COVID-19 became a growing reality across the world. My quarantine began a bit sooner than most, as out-of-state travel over spring break led me to make the decision to self-isolate before the shelter-in-place orders were widespread across my city, county, and state.  During the first week of this self-isolation, my mind was whirring with fear for myself, my family who I’d travelled with, my roommates who had also travelled over spring break, and our country at large. Every cough at the dinner table was met with widened eyes, multiple yawns in a row equated […]

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Let’s Make Space for Lament During Coronavirus, Too

In many ways, I’m wildly encouraged by the global Church’s response to this Coronavirus pandemic. I’m seeing innovative acts of love being given to neighbors. I’m watching buckets of grace be poured out as we all wade through these uncharted waters. I’m hearing about the selfless, consistent attempts to reach the most vulnerable and likely to become isolated. Praise God! Also: since COVID-19 began to spread, I have been surprised by how few Christians I have observed grieving right now. This unprecedented time has created life-altering shifts for everyone in the world – big and small. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, loss of employment, loss of safety at school for kids, or just an everyday loss of freedom, there is something for us all to grieve right now.  What’s Lament? This pandemic is bringing me back to my knees in prayer through the ancient spiritual discipline […]

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