Misconception of Perfection

mercies verse

I constantly find myself feeling that life would be better, joyful, even perfect if I just had a bigger or better house, car, calendar, meal plan, fill-in-the-blank.  If I could just be better at controlling my emotions, being slow to speak, and being patient with my kids,  I would be much more happy and joyful. I would finally feel content.  If you’re anything like me, I so often seek to find contentment in my circumstances, not in God. No matter the season; student, single, married, full-time job or full-time stay-at-home parent, kids, no kids, it’s easy to focus on the lack in our circumstances and ourselves, instead of the blessings. We see what we wish would change and put our hope in that change of circumstances instead of in Jesus Himself.  So if true, lasting joy cannot be found in our circumstances, but only in Jesus, how do we find […]

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Figuring out God’s will for my life

girl in sun

About a month ago, I found myself at a retreat/formational program about discernment with 70+ strangers in Kansas City. All of the other attendees were either college students, 50+ adults with children, grandchildren, and spouses, or consecrated religious women and priests. At first, I was overwhelmed by the fact there was no one else present who was in my same stage of life. This feeling of isolation quickly turned to freedom from comparison and distraction, allowing me to enter more fully into the experience Jesus was crafting.  I came into the week with a litany of questions to “discern”. This list included but was not limited to: Am I supposed to continue living in College Station?  Should I move to Washington DC or Denver? (I’m a sucker for mountains and museums) Am I called to marriage or single life? How long do we think it might take to answer question […]

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The Paradox of Powerlessness

flowers rocks

This year has been a season of longing – longing for normalcy and longing for a return of routines, activities, and hangouts. Some of these longings are simple and easy to persevere through – longing to stand in a crowd at your favorite band’s concert, longing to go to the grocery store without being armed with Clorox wipes, or longing for the start of the college football season. Others are rooted in more sensitive and desperate parts of our hearts – longing to be surrounded by a life-giving community, longing for employment that feels meaningful and worthwhile, longing for a new relationship or healing in a current one.  In many ways, our whole lives are a series of thirsts that culminate in the ultimate thirst for Christ. The reality is, this thirst is unlikely to be fully quenched this side of heaven. With that in mind, how can we carry […]

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