Lessons from Potty Training

Warning: the following blog post contains bathroom-related content.

My son just turned three years old.  As such, he is super into three-year-old things like riding his scooter, kicking his soccer ball, telling me about everything his eyes land on, and…the potty.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 100 times: I’ve never learned more about my relationship with the Lord than when I became a mother.  In light of this, here are a few lessons God has been teaching me from our attempt at potty training.

“But to all who received him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12, NLT)

Lesson #1: I am stubborn, but God is patient.

The first day of potty training, my son was interested.  This is why we started in the first place. He wanted to wear undies.  He wanted to use the potty. He wanted to use his little potty and the big potty.  He wanted to use it sitting down and standing up. He liked putting stickers on his chart every time he used the potty.  

But then the novelty wore off.  It became work and a hindrance.  He had to listen to his body tell him when it was time instead of just guessing or going when he wanted a sticker.  He would have accidents and get wet, stinky, and uncomfortable. It wasn’t fun anymore. It was hard.

So he stopped.  He cried “I don’t want to!” and “No undies!” whenever he got dressed in the morning.  He would only go potty when forced and he never had a bowel movement in the potty.  Not once. Not in a whole week. He actively tried to keep himself from pooping – I’m talking full-on clench mode.  He flat-out refused. When a bowel movement was inevitable, he would be sneaky about it by going into another room or hiding behind a chair.  He would even stand next to the potty but poop in his undies.

When my son would throw tantrums while sitting on the potty, I would gently talk him down.  I would explain to him the importance of potty training and listening to me when I advised him.  I reminded him that if he needed to go potty, he could tell me and I would help him. I gave him hugs, wiped his bottom, and helped him wash his hands.  Every time. After washing out the ninth pair of poopy undies on the sixth day of potty training, God put it together for me.

Similarly, we might be interested at first in confronting something like our lack of prayer life, taming our tongues, or forgiving someone who has wronged us.  We even start out really well. But then it becomes hard and inconvenient. We overtly complain. We become secretive. We are openly defiant. (Matthew 13:20-22)

But God is patient.  He corrects us. Teaches us.  Assists us. Cleans us up. Every time.

“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9, ESV)

Lesson #2: It brings Him unending joy when we accomplish the tiniest of baby steps.

One evening, my son ran up to me with his pants off and said “Go potty!”  Naturally, I thought he was telling me he had to go and needed help, so we ran to the bathroom.  But I looked in the potty and he had already gone! He had been telling me he went potty all by himself.  Friends, I almost cried.  When you cry tears of joy (relief?) over bodily waste, that’s how you know you’ve reached peak mom status.  “You did it! You’re getting it! I’m so proud of you!”

“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” (Hebrews 13:16, ESV)

But God feels this way about us!  God created us with intention and purpose and love.  When we fulfill His desires for us, it brings Him joy.  It pleases Him. “Well done, my good and faithful servant…” (Matthew 25:21)

Lesson #3: Sometimes He lets us sit in our own poop.

It may not come as a surprise to you that we have put a pause on the potty training.  We gave it a try, stuck it out for a whole week, and decided we would continue in a few months if/when he’s interested again.

Sometimes God takes this approach with us as well. (Psalm 81:11-16) His way is better – it is the best.  But maybe He lets us endure the consequences of our immaturity a little longer until we finally understand.  We hold onto our diapers because they are a comfort to us, they’re safe, and they give us the illusion of control and freedom because we don’t have to stop what we are doing to take care of business.  But they are also bulky, stiff, and irritating! Maybe we have to sit in our own filthy stinkiness while others hold their noses and wonder at us. Maybe we have to experience a diaper rash or two before we realize that God really has our best interests at heart.

“…until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…”  (Ephesians 4:13-15, ESV)

In the same way I will not allow my son to eventually go to college in diapers, God will not allow me to stall in my process of sanctification. (Romans 6)  He is constantly teaching me and molding me into the woman He has created me to be. Even if that means letting me experience what I think I want or need and learning a hard lesson.  Even if that means letting me sit in my own poop – if only for a little while.

“It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline…For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:7,11, ESV)

How might God be disciplining you today?  What diapers are you clinging to in comfort?  Are you experiencing diaper rash from your stubbornness to let go of a sin?  Do you have any friends who can come alongside you to lovingly hold you accountable?  How can you run to Him next time you feel tempted to hide in your mess? I am praying that you remember we are children of the Lord.  We have a nurturing and caring Father who wants our best good.