Control in Chaos

girl staring at sky

I have known it would be my turn to write a blog for a long time now. I have had it on my calendar for weeks. I’ve been praying about it for days. And still, my page remained blank. My mind and soul, however, have not been quiet. So many things have been vying for my attention and creating chaos in my heart. My heart breaks for headline after headline. My thoughts stray to tragedies and injustices. I can’t focus because there is a new calamity every day. I’m distracted by division, finger-pointing, and squabbling. Finally, I felt the Lord say, “Kathryn, just sit and listen to My words and remember I am in control.” So my page is no longer blank but filled with the words of the psalmist. I love the Lord because he hears my voice     and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, […]

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The Mindset of Christ

hands

Right now it feels like the only thing we can agree on is that no one agrees on anything.  I’ve started developing a fear of talking about anything except the weather because I don’t know how I will be perceived. “What side are you on about that? Am I judging? Am I being judged?”   Everyone has their own ideas and opinions about the best way to fix the issues of our time.  Even within the church, I’ve caught myself thinking, “If they love Jesus, then they have to believe [whatever I think] about [current topic].”   But the Bible is clear the only solution is Jesus (John 24:6).  So we need to ask ourselves: How does Jesus solve for /x/?  How does Jesus solve for racial reconciliation? How does Jesus solve for vaccine mandates?  How does Jesus solve for homelessness, abortion, refugees, sexual identity, voting, education, wealth gap, healthcare, global […]

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Finding the Divine in the Secular

reading

Let’s play a game.  It’s no secret that, with a degree in English language and literature, I am a sucker for classic literature.  Shoot, I’m a sucker for a good story in general.  I love love love to get into the nitty and gritty – theme, plot, character development, allusion, language…even grammar!  But one of my favorite things to do is find Jesus in non- overtly religious texts.  I’m not talking about the Piers Plowmans written by the monks and prioresses in the middle ages.  I’m not talking about Pilgrim’s Progress written by the Puritan preacher, John Bunyan.  These are literal allegories with heavy religious influence.  I’m talking about the pop literature (of any time) meant to entertain.  Art reflecting life.  Human stories. So play the game with me for a minute.  Find the divine in the secular. Henry V In the first round, I’d like to get you started […]

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Where is God?

fireman wearing firesuit

Our world is on fire.  I mean this mostly figuratively, but I live in Northern California, and we currently have  several wildfires ravaging our terrain.  Their frequency and intensity are not like we’ve seen in this region before. In Haiti, a poor nation still reeling from the assassination of its president, a devastating earthquake struck in the same area that is still recovering from a paralyzing earthquake that happened eleven years ago. Hurricane Ida made landfall 16 years to the day after Hurricane Katrina ravaged New Orleans.  It ripped its way through the region again and this time made its way all the way northeast, causing record flooding in New York and New Jersey. As we come upon the twentieth anniversary of September 11th, there is renewed unrest in Afghanistan and a resulting humanitarian crisis in the Middle East.   Globally, there is the raging Delta variant overfilling our hospitals and […]

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“I’m not depressed, but…”

woman on bed

In the beginning, when the world grinded to a halt and everyone stayed home, I received a huge dose of validation as a stay-at-home mom.  Suddenly people were realizing exactly what I do every day, and how demanding it is.  After several weeks, we all settled into a new routine and got used to the new norm.  The good feelings of validation wore off, and I started to feel the struggle. But I’m a stay-at-home mom.  It’s literally in the name.  I’m supposed to have the stay-at-home thing down.   DOWNWARD SPIRAL Initially, it wasn’t too different from our day-to-day.  The biggest change was we were no longer going out.  We were no longer having play-dates.  We were no longer doing our activities.  You see, “stay-at-home” is a misnomer.  We actually go out a lot.  So we, like everyone else, were stuck at home and feeling the struggle.  However, now I […]

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Living on Mission: Are you my neighbor?

person on doorstep gift

This is the second part of my thoughts about Living on Mission.  For its companion, read Living on Mission: What is it Anyway? What was your favorite Bible story growing up?  Maybe it was the story of Noah and all the animals, David and Goliath, Joseph and his very colorful coat, or Jesus walking on water.  For me, it was the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37).  (I actually called it The Good “Cemetery,” but hey, I was little, ok?)  I’m not really sure why it stuck with me all these years, but I do know I was drawn to the person who saw a person in need and helped. When the Pharisees asked Jesus what the greatest command is, the second part of His answer included: ”Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). It may lead you to wonder who your neighbor really is.  This is the exact […]

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Home for Christmas

candles

The pandemic has brought about a lot of changes this year.  For one, it has invoked a whole new meaning to the phrase “home for Christmas.”  Sure, our holiday plans look quite a bit different this year, but one of my primary laments is I deeply miss church. Many parts of the United States differ in their various COVID restrictions, but where I live in California, we have not been able to gather as a Body since March.  Our church is one of the larger churches in San Jose, so we have had the ability and resources to produce a lovely online service.  We can still have “church from home.”  We still have worship. Our pastors still teach and speak to our hearts.  We have had baptisms and guest speakers and missions updates.  We take communion – separate but together.  We meet for Bible studies, prayer groups, and other ministries […]

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Living on Mission: What is it anyway?

arrow pointing

In the middle of a pandemic, when your every day to day is suddenly flipped on its head, it’s pretty easy to start contemplating life and its purpose – specifically your own.  Who am I?  What am I doing?  Why am I here?  If you are a believer, the answer is simple.  Your mission is Christ’s mission. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.”   Matthew 4:19 During a recent sermon by Calvary Church’s Steve Dang, he said, “When we place our faith in Christ, we don’t go into ministry, we are in ministry.”  In other words, when you accept Christ, you accept the mission of God.  And God is in the ministry of reconciliation  (2 Corinthians 5:18-21).  From the time of the The Fall in Genesis 3, God has been working to win us back to Him.  He did this through Christ, and […]

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The Privilege of Privilege

microphone

This piece is primarily addressed to my fellow White American brothers and sisters. When I was little, I would revel in the collection of stickers.  I always loved finding pretty ones and shiny ones.  I loved the ones with special characters and big vinyl stickers and traditional gold stars.  I always had high hopes for these stickers.  I wanted to use them for projects and to decorate my notebooks and water bottles.  I would wait for the most special moment to use those stickers, but whenever a moment presented itself, it never seemed to be the exact right occasion to use them.  I never wanted to risk messing them up or using them on a subworthy project.  They would remain in their packaging, always admired and held with great expectation, but never used. Several weeks into this pandemic, I, like so many others, began feeling deep grief and lament.  But […]

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Managing Fear in the Midst of a Pandemic

For those of you who don’t know, I live in San Jose, California.  Now, in most contexts, that would not have much significance, but drop that piece of data into a point of time, say March 2020, and suddenly, its significance is great. San Jose is the scene of the third-largest outbreak of COVID-19 in the United States.  The situation is changing so rapidly, that as I have been writing this over the past week, I have had to edit the information I am about to present several times.  The World Health Organization has officially declared the COVID-19 outbreak a pandemic and our governor banned all gatherings of over 10 people across our whole state.  In my county and the counties surrounding mine, we are under a “shelter-in-place” order, meaning we can only leave our houses in cases of supply runs and emergencies. The President has shut our borders to […]

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